What do I do if I have Christ but my spouse doesn’t?

If you are married to someone who is not a believer, the best thing you can do is pray for them.

God can do a better job of reaching them than you trying to make them become a christian.

Read this passage ➡️ “In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live when they observe your pure, reverent lives.” - 1 Peter 3:1-2

We believe that this passage applies to both men and women, even though the verse is written towards women. In other translations of this passage, you’ll read the word “subject” which needs some defining. To me, to be subject means “to have the mentality of wanting what my spouse wants.” Some define the word “subject” to mean that the spouse must do what I tell them to do, but that’s not the meaning of this word.

Try out these practices:

Shift your focus from your struggles to your Savior.

It can be easy to focus on the struggles that we have going on around us but the best thing to do is to keep our focus on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2).

Be a good example of a Christ follower.

Some spouses can get mean and aggressive with their spouse when they choose not to attend church with them, or when they get ridiculed for being a believer. Instead of responding in anger or aggression, show them the kind of love that Christ can show them.

Recommit to loving and serving your spouse more, not less.

Your spouses’ lack of faith is a call to love unselfishly. It will be painful at times, but this is how they will see Christ in you (1 Corinthians 9:19). Ask God daily for His strength to be this kind of spouse because you won’t have it within yourself (1 John 4:19).

Reserve time for church, but be present for your spouse.

There were times when God gave me peace about staying home in order to spend time with my house so that they didn’t feel like they were “competing” with church. any of those times, God showed up in a special way in my personal bible study in order to keep me spiritually full (Psalm 63:1-4).

Recruit Christian friends in a way that includes your spouse.

Often when a spouse is not saved, it is natural to surround yourself with Christian friends who can sympathize and offer support and prayer.

Rely on Christ, not your husband, to meet your needs.

Even in a Christian marriage, your spouse will not meet all of your needs, nor you theirs. God wants you to ultimately depend on Him above anyone else.

Release your spouse to God.

Ultimately, your spouses relationship with Christ is their responsibility, not yours. You can be the perfect spouse, but your spouse will not come to Christ until they are drawn by the Holy Spirit, then responds to the Spirit (1 Corinthians 2:14). Your responsibility is to love them and pray for them. Always remember, it’s not your job to save them, it’s your job to show them. You are not their Holy Spirit! As you live out your faith in the context of your home, rely on the work of the Holy Spirit to move and work in the life of your spouse.

*Content was provided by our Counseling Pastor, Dr. Ron Smith. Edited by Danny Rangel. If you would like to seek counseling visit bt.church/counseling to book an appointment.